


That's not the protocol

by chaWOOPa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings, M/M, Oral Sex, Trans Male Character, Trans Taako (The Adventure Zone), Vaginal Fingering, not actually a lot of smut, taako has an emotion(tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 01:55:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16030592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaWOOPa/pseuds/chaWOOPa
Summary: Kravitz looks like a god with his head buried between Taako's thighs, and, well, that's the problem, isn't it?Taako could worship the man on top of him, could find a million and one reasons to never leave this spot, warm and safe, encapsulated and held there by his strong arms. Taako trusts him, implicitly, and that is terrifying.~~~~~idk what au this is yall this is mostly just feelings and taako and krav working out taako Having An Emotion(tm).





	That's not the protocol

Kravitz looks like a god with his head buried between Taako's thighs, and, well, that's the problem, isn't it?    
  
Taako could worship the man on top of him, could find a million and one reasons to never leave this spot, warm and safe, encapsulated and held there by his strong arms. Taako  _ trusts _ him, implicitly, and that is terrifying.    
  
Kravitz's golden brown eyes meet his as he slips a finger into his vagina and it’s all Taako can do to keep his brain from shorting out.    
  
Taako's mouth drops open in an ‘O’ and all he can focus on is the feel of Kravitz's mouth on his clit and the thought in his mind that is running on repeat, breaking the number one rule Taako set for them. 

 

_ I think I love him, _ the revelation peaks with his orgasm as Taako gasps out Kravitz's name and Kravitz worships him through it, milking every last tremble and gasp for all they are worth. To him, they are worth the world.   
  
Taako sees the stars-scratch that-Taako sees the entire universe in the way Kravitz's eyes sparkle at him, and he can feel his chest constrict as thinks he sees a glimpse of his soul that is made out of the stardust that’s scattered across it.    
  
He thinks, no,  _ wishes _ , desperately and deeply and with an intensity that scares him in how much it  _ hurts _ , that the glimpse he thinks he gets shows the same love that is twisting his stomach into knots right now.    
  
Kravitz moves to kiss away the tears on Taako's eyelashes and it becomes too much to hold. His love bubbles into his throat and boils onto his tongue until he can't hold back the echoes of it anymore and it spills out in a gasp, "I think I love you," and once he opens his mouth to say the first words the rest come pouring out after. He cannot stop them no matter what he tries. The words are like a poison he has held in his veins for far too long as they tear his esophagus and burn his teeth to ash in their rush to get out of his system. 

 

"I’ve killed everything I loved and then some and I told myself I wouldn’t love you because I couldn’t kill you and yet here we are," he says, his tears coming too hot, too fast to be kissed away anymore, so he draws into himself and away from the potential pain that is the man he has loved since the first. Just goes to show how acting can only get you so far. "Here I am, and there you are, and I am in love like I told myself I would never do again.  _ I'm an idiot _ ," he is screaming now, lashing out at himself, the sheets, the pillows the bed, but not Kravitz; never Kravitz. Kravitz is precious, perfect,  _ his _ , and Taako would  _ never _ do that. Not again. "I thought I could do it, thought it would be okay, that this time would be different but it isn't."    
  
Taako doesn't know when he got up from the bed, can barely keep track of what words are spilling from his soul into Kravitz's gentle, careful hands let alone the shape their two bodies make as they stand only feet apart in Taako's bedroom. 

 

It feels like a thousand years are between them.    
  
"I killed 40 people," Taako whispers, finally, brokenly, into the cool blue wall he has found himself facing. " _ I killed- _ " his voice snaps like a wire holding too much weight and the arms holding him together fall to his side (they are his arms, always his arms except for the last time they weren't, the last time someone had left him to wilt like a flower after he had already shattered like glass). 

 

He told himself he would never ask someone to pick him up again and yet here he is, laying his jagged edges out like knives and he isn't sure what they are meant to do anymore, hurt himself and drive away Kravitz or put himself on display as he sits on his knees and  _ begs _ for Kravitz to judge him worth the effort. 

 

Maybe it’s all of the above.   
  
A warm body presses against his back and he wants to scream for Kravitz to get back, to walk away before he stabs himself on a part of Taako too broken to ever be safe again, but instead he leans into him. He cannot stop himself.

 

He has always had a weakness for pretty things that would only hurt him in the end.

 

"You can tell me when you are ready, Taako," Kravitz’s voice is soft as velvet as it rolls over Taako's awareness like a blanket he has known since birth. "I will be here before, during, and I  _ promise you _ I will stay here with you after."

 

It sounds so simple, coming from Kravitz’s mouth. Sounds so  _ easy _ when he hears it spoken in the rich timbre of Kravitz's gentle tones. 

 

Taako is so scared of losing that; of breaking him.

 

“ _ I feed them poisoned food, and i didnt know until- _ " Taako breaks off again and Kravitz turns Taako around to face him. Taako thinks his chest may split open at the care and love and  _ reverence  _ that sparkles in Kravitz's eyes and lives on his lips and shimmers just under his skin. Kravitz has a hand on Taako's cheek so that he will look at him and Taako thinks he should be on his knees before him, should be worshipping the god who has deigned to bless him with his mere presence, let alone his love.

 

If Taako had to live his life over, the look in Kravitz’s eyes would be worth doing it all the same.. 

 

Kravitz kisses him sweetly, gently, and Taako can still taste himself on Kravitz's lips. The moment comes rushing back with that revelation and it makes him wonder how much longer he will have this before Kravitz leaves, just like the rest. 

 

“I know,” Kravitz says gently. He does all things gently these days, carries himself with care and poise and grace so that the precious thing he carries with him will not shake apart. 

 

Taako think those words may shake him apart anyway. 

 

“You…” Taako slumps into his chest, curls up and tries to hide as though he can take shelter from the storm he has brought down upon himself if he only burrows a little deeper towards the eye of it. “How?”

 

Kravitz's arms tighten around him just a little as he says, “It doesn't matter how. What matters is that I do, and that I love you, and that  _ nothing _ is going to change that.” 

 

Taako doesn't know when the world stopped making sense, whether it was ‘ _ I love you _ ’ or ‘ _ it doesn't matter _ ’ or ‘ _ nothing _ ’. He doesn't think it really would change the way he melts into Kravitz's chest or cries in relief. 

 

Neither of them move from there for a long time.

 

“Way to ruin perfectly good sex, Taako,” he says, once his emotions have settled and he has relaxed into Kravitz’s arms. He is still facing into Kravitz's strong chest and his voice is weak with tears and emotions even as he tries desperately to pretend that it isn't, but he thinks maybe things will be okay anyway. “Just had to go and have, you know,  _ emotions _ , didn't you?” 

 

Kravitz chuckles and kisses Taako on the forehead. “Funny, I can't seem to get myself to regret it,” he says into Taako's hair, and Taako laughs wetly and maybe just a little hysterically. 

 

“Sap,” Taako says finally, not even a hint of his normal sass in it. There is no room left after he has filled his tone with as much love and adoration as he can. 

 

Taako doesn’t know how much of what Kravitz said he believes, but he can feel the way Kravitz loves him in the way his arms hold him and the way his lips linger on his forehead even after he is done kissing it. Taako knows that if he doesn’t leave now, it will only hurt worse later, but he can’t find it in himself to move from where he is. 

 

_ If I destroy myself with this, well then _ , Taako thinks as Kravitz picks him up and carries him back to the bed where they curl up together until it is unclear where one of them ends and the other begins,  _ it will have been worth it, I think. _

**Author's Note:**

> *i just wanted to write trans taako smut cause there isn't enough of that out there with just trans taako and krav but like. taako decided to cry about his feelings instead.*
> 
> *how has my life come to this*


End file.
